Ahh! Newly found cute guy. Ok my idol!






Haha. My pretty boy.
Zhen, you can have those that I don't want already.
Yeah my meaningless entry! Just to make myself smile at my lappy screen while doing research and reflections cannnnnn?

Is there a LOST and FOUND counter for everything?
Like maybe money, creativity, life, trust or even love, friendships, happiness. You name it.
Tell me where is that counter pls.

And it's soon gonna be July in no time. I'm turning 19 soon. Ok, I'm not trying to hint that my birthday is coming. But this year is weird, I so don't want that day to come. Just let it be like any other day. Don't breath a word of happiness or anything. I don't want a birthday.

Baa. Why are there so many cute guys out there? (As in other countries). Wahaha. Oh well, fine, those we see are celebrities. Haha. I like Chris Pine and Kangta. Okay, kinda shy to admit this, but I think Kangta is cute and hot cuz he's formerly from H.O.T. Duh.
Back to reflections.

Before that, my ghana lost! Yes, expected but I didn't expect a nil!!! And my Kingson wasn't performing well enough as compared to the previous matches. I don't want him already! Shall catch the Spain and France match laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

ARGH! Ticketing Amadeus test tmr morning pls pray hard that I will not be late on dreadful tuesdays ever again. I WILL PASS NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER HOW MANY CLASS I SKIPPED.

So many stuffs on hands to do. DUH! Can I have another week of Hols prettay pls. But it actually doesn't matters. Give me a year off and I still will not do all those stuff.

I'm feeling ugly since the day I said I felt pretty. Is that a curse or something? I'm feeling fat (don't tell me I'm thin) but well, I'm losing appetite as well. I feel UGLY.

Sucha bad move for a change. Seemed like no one is happy about it. I shall do something about it.

I totally lost mood and interest for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. And I would like to thank that one or two person who caused this, directly or indirectly.

Everything is a chore to me now. Talking, breathing, thinking, shopping, listening, watching movie, walking, eating and even sleeping. Whining and complaining can't help at all. I am suffering from constant headache and I wish that I can just go into coma to stop being tortured.

Why the hell do people have that much to talk, complain, whine, curse or even boast about? Fine! I know I'm doing it as well, but at least I'm not that frequent! I try to be discreet.

Do you get it? I'm TRYING. I'm trying to mentally block all the stuffs I don't want to know, I don't want to hear. IF you're getting sick of me being like a lunatic, just stop seeing me, stop coming here. SHOO! I SAID SHOO!

If everything that you want to do is just to irk me, I am surrendering. Are you happy now?

Parents are getting weird these days. Sometimes I just hope that I can be one of their brain cells to know how they think.
When you hang out with guys, they start to worry that you might be taken advantage of.
When you hang out with girls, they start to worry that you might be a lesbian.
When you don't dress up, they worry that you might look too ugly that you scare the guys away.
When you dress up too well, they worry that guys might feel inferior next to you, and so you scare the guys away too.

So what if I lost interest in guys? So what if I'm interested in girls? So what if I'm not interested in any of them?

I'm tired of all the shits in my life. I know I'm not the unluckiest beings on Earth, but still I can only be considered lucky because I'm still alive and kicking physically. I'm just too tired to care who's talking about what, backstabbing about me and even giving me names. It's so tiring to mind so much stuff. Aren't any of you tired as well?

Sometimes I don't need anyone to understand how I feel, or even what I'm thinking about. But it would be kind enough to just leave me alone. If I cant gain you support, you can help yourself and me, by just staying neutral. Sometimes I try as far as possible not to blame anyone for anything. I try to see things positively. I try to take my failures as learning experience. I do reflect, I do try to make myself happier, I do not push blames around. But it is all to no avail. I'm not feeling any happier by swallowing all the blames, by making others happy.

We had our long awaited "Hong! Zai na li" gathering today. Organiser Ms Larrina Lim PeiZHU was absent, aug and zhixin came and join us later. Thank you to our leader who sponsored part of the meal.

Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that I felt pretty today. Oh wells actually everyday, but exceptionaly pretty today (No I'm just kidding). I don't care if you all thinks I'm an ugly duckling or what. I felt pretty today so much so that I just don't want to come home. I'm beginning to like the me now. Or maybe just today. I'm cinderella.


Beauties! :)


Angel from heaven.


Liang duo hua!


Pimpless angel.


Every tommorrow is for me to anticipate happiness.
Every yesterday is for me to forget.

Maybe some day in the future, my wish will come true.

I miss my long hair.
I miss my pimpless face.
I miss you. and you. and you.
All of you.
I miss my happy days.

tagboard revived like finally!

I'm really feeling old already. I'm aching all over, poor visions, itchy rashes and all. But not yet senile. I want to be SENILE!

Soccer matches are really really unpredictable! Disappointing!

I saw ANgel today! Angel, you made my day! I miss you terribly and horribly! You better plan the gathering with rina by this week!

And I'm feeling so guilty over that cup of milo freeze! The person must be cursing and swearing me. That made so unlucky to bump into someone after that. Wahaha.

Why can't I see my tagboard? So many days already!

Can someone just slap me and wake me up? I want to suffer from amnesia or maybe just let me be senile at this age. Right now.

I want to forget everything.

Anyway, I send my stupid hp for repair. So just pardon if you can't reach me. I shall take this time off from everything and everyone.

3 more months to SIP! I'm counting down to it, but I'm not anticipating it. I just want the pay!

I thought of the past. My life was once colourful. Why the hell is it just black and white now? I looked at the old pictures, especially those during 2004. I smiled. I recalled the happy times, the joyous moments, laughing heartily, eyes gleaming with joy. They are all gone. They are now nothing but broken memories. I'd rather not have them, for that I would not see the contrast now.

I hardly laugh my heart out now. I hardly smile genuinely. I no longer dress in flamboyant colours, it's almost only black. But I'm trying to wear colours like blue or white... Not much difference though.

Each day, I think I'm walking closer to darkness. I don't know, I don't want to. But I can't help it, I can't control.

My happy split is dead.

I so finally got a placement at somewhere that I somehow like it. So, 1 less thing to be upset about.
Well done!

08June06 was the unluckiest day of the year. It started out when I wanted to take bus 86 on my way to school. The moment I board the bus, there was this stench and guess what? It was from the lumps of shit at the back of the bus. Hello? Da bian!!! I just hope I could stop breathing until I alight. That mere 2 stops was like soooooooooooooooooooo super long. I was thinking of the shit's bacteria or whatever atoms and molecules is like floating in the air then stucked onto me. Then I would like smell like shit the whole day! Maybe they would be stucked on my face, under my skin and you see shit pimples popping out. Enclosed bus with shit, kill me.

And so, we were in school all because of consultation on the project as we wanted feedback for our report. But our tutor told us that we gotta wait till next week and that means, we all went to school for NOTHING!

Hong and I then went opposite school for lunch but it was pouring heavily when we wanted to head home. While we finally decide to walk in the rain, there was this insane guy who followed us. We wanted to run and he said something like, "Quick, run, there's a bad guy behind you!" Freaked us out totally!

Then while I was walking to dor's house in the evening. I tripped myself. The path was smooth and clear, totally nothing to trip me. I wasn't wearing heels or anything, I just tripped.

Thus, I felt bad the whole time. There was like dark clouds casting over me. I didn't enjoy clubbing that night. I can't even bring myself to really laugh at anything. When I got home in the wee hours, I can't even get myself to sleep. I kept thinking about the SIP stuff, stuff that was bothering me.

Maybe this whole year is cursed.

Beautiful love is a nice song with a great MV. :)

I'm so prepared for my test by not studying the day before! Haha. Yah right. I just can't bring myself to study OB. So I need all the luck I can get!

Anw, I fulfilled my twister fries and pizzahut cravings! All the best to my cough!

I'm still coughing my lungs out. Med is useless only makes me drowsy.
I need a change in everything. Everything!!!
Life is boring.
Good luck for term test people!

I'm really sick! And I desperately took the medicine which I'm sort of allergic to. Oh well, I'll die either way eh? Maybe my nose will blocked till I can't breath while I'm sleeping. Maybe I'll cough till there's blood and I'll die of TB. Maybe my throat will be so pain that it'll cut open on its own and you'll see phlegm oozing out. Maybe I'll sneeze so much so that my heart stop alil too long and I'll drop dead. Oh just let me die the easiest way. Oh yah, maybe my pimples will grow soooo much that I'll choose to kill myself!

I'm so damn bloody depressed again. Oh just stop haunting me. Tell me I'm dumb. Tell me I'm stupid. Tell me to wake up. Tell me it's never going to happen. Tell me I should end all my misery.