crowned
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Hey aug, this is for you! Haha.
28March was a very happy and joyous day for us because it was sucha BIG reunion! It's like 90% of the people present! How cool was that? It's been months since all of us hang out tgt but I'm still anticipating for a 100% attendance soon! Heard that people?




















thats just some of us! Siew missing cuz she was late. Aug was e photographer!

It's been so fun to be out together. I was wrong. So what if we are like shopping mates? We are still soulmates! What we do is not just walking around and buying stuff, we talked, laughed, gossiped and whatever! It's the interaction tt really matters! I love all of them. But I love someone even more! :)
*****


So who do I love even more? Haha.
I was in sucha a bad mood just a moment ago. I thot I was like enlightened cuz I finally knew myself. I had no choice but to trust the views of so many others out there. I am weird, stubborn, unpredictable and fierce. Ok, I know I'm weird, I'm just weird but I can't tell you specifically how. I know I'm stubborn but at least I'm not as stubborn as the past, so is that good or not? I don't know if I'm unpredictable but if fickle-minded=unpredictable, then I am! And so I'm fierce, but that's for a reason. That's my only protective gear. I've been bullied by others long enough and it's time I learn to protect myself and my friends as well. I don't know if all these are good or bad, should I change or not.

Until I talked to the person that I love!
That person told me, stubborn is good cuz I have my own point of view. Yes, my views! Mine!
Being weird and unpredictable is in-borne. It's something that I can't change even if I want to.
So what if I'm fierce? That's me. My way to protect myself, you gotta give me reason to put down my protective gear with you.

Oh that's so me. That 4 words. I'm being me, at least I'm honest and I'm truthful. I'm not guilty of anything. I love you Lala! You truly enlightened me. We teach and learn from each other, that makes us buddies. I won't say forever but for as long as we can! :) But of course, the longest the better! Haha. Forever is so ewe.



and she say GOODBYE..{/2:27 AM}


Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I'm so lost. Felt like faeces.
I'm still angry. For god's sake, I should ignore that.



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:48 AM}


Sunday, March 26, 2006
I know I'm not supposed to be angry but how? It's so ridiculous that I thought the anger would go away which obviously did not.

It doesn't pay to be kind. I was considered so kind to you and yet I got shits in return. What can I say? Well, I know I was mean and evil but now that there's actually someone out there who is SOSOSOSO much more evil than I do. I feel that I'm so kind-hearted, gracious, altruistic and amiable as compared to you. I was even so magnanmious to forgive you! You're mean, cunning, wicked and all the negative descriptive words (Adjectives right?) while you try so hard to portray yourself to be the positive ones. Please reflect on the sins you committed. Conclusion: FAKE.

I'm not trying to praise myself here, and well you all clearly know that I'm not that good either but I'm great as compared to you! That explains how rotten you are. You ought to be enlightened.

I'm not angry, I'm not angry, I'm not angry.. I will not be, I will not be, I will not be!





and she say GOODBYE..{/7:49 PM}


Friday, March 24, 2006
It seemed to be that I kept bringing up the past. Maybe I'm all cooped up for too long at home, that I can't stop thinking.

Remember the school holidays years ago, it was all about having fun and not money making. It seemed like we are all busy working to make money. We seldom have time to meet up and even if we do, it was only shopping sprees. No more coffee session, going to the beach, chalets, BBQs nor prata session. All gone. Now it's only work-shop-work-shop. That's it! How meaningless.

I preferred those holidays back then, even though there were assignments and CCA practices but at least we went through all these tgt. Now we are more like shopping mates rather than soulmates. Our noisy phone conversation, 6 of us screaming tgt or even the lame-iest letter now replaced with mere SMS-es or MSN. We lost the simplest and sweetest form of communication. What matters now is only convenience.

How pathetic had we all become?




Sometimes, you have to look at yourself before you pass any ill comments around.
It doesn't mean that if I appear to be of a stronger personality that I'll always be at fault.
It doesn't mean that if you try so hard to act innocent that you'll always be right.



and she say GOODBYE..{/10:42 PM}


Thursday, March 23, 2006
I'm currently reading The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. Yeah I know it's the bestseller and that I'm like the last person on Earth reading it. All thanks to Lala who finally decided to pass me the book like don't know how many years later. I'm sucha fast reader that I'm finishing it in a day or two. That shows how bored I am! Well, not exactly, the book was far too captivating and I can't bear to leave it and I kept reading and reading and I hope that the book is never-ending.

I hope the badminton session is on tmr!! Hopefully that will commence the start of our exercising month! Maybe some of you out there may want to teach me tennis, swimming, basketball so that I will have more games to play. Maybe we can all go cycling at the beach!!! It's been so long since we last did that and kite-flying to fulfil Lala's wish! Let's do everything we can before school start!

K-session on Friday with Hong and Angel, and then meeting up with Saimin and Carol!! I can't wait! But I need more cash too...



and she say GOODBYE..{/2:04 AM}


Tuesday, March 21, 2006
I'm feeling old. I don't want to grow up and it is not as though I had sucha happy childhood or anything. I wasn't a happy child but at least I don't have anything to worry or to grieve on.

I yearned so much to grow up when I was like in the primary school. Growing up means gaining freedom, I can go anywhere I want and not just to tag along with my parents. I can earn money so that I can buy anything that I want. I can make my own decision and not my parents making the decision which I do not agree to. THAT WAS THE PAST.

Now that I'm old enough to go out on my own, to earn money and to think. All these seems like responsibilities to me now, responsibilities that I do not wish to bear. I can't rely on my parents to feed me or to solve any of my problems. I have to do it all on my own, I have to be independent. That sounds so much like a "mission impossible" right now.

I can't imagine that I may have to lead a working life in the future, worrying about making money to make ends meet. I can't imagine that there are millions of issues that I have to face as an adult. I can't imagine myself as an adult.

I don't want to grow up. I am forever 18 alright?

PS: People! I want to catch a movie! Let's watch Yours, Mine and Ours!



and she say GOODBYE..{/11:39 AM}


So many gatherings lately! Sort of saw almost all of my friends like finally! :) That's like so cool, to me lah.

Got to work with Angel for Sat and Sun. It's been a week since we last saw each other. So long as compared to seeing each other everyday in school! My Hong Mao Dan Nan Peng You! I miss Hong X*B** Hong!

Pegasus gathering was on Sat too! It's been ages since I turned up for Pegasus gathering, I'm so guilty! But most of the time I didn't know mah, or was I not invited? Hmmmm. But anyway it's nice meeting up! We're gonna miss XiYun! Lala and I were so funny, we were so nervous to meet them. Haha, so nervous that I was like 'chua sai-ing', god knows for what reason! Most of them didn't change at all except for some botaks! Sucha BIG REUNION!

Girls meeting up today. But not all were present. Aug and Siew MISSING! Amy too. And so there were Rina, Dor, Lin, Deni and Kah. I spent like crazy today, over-shot my pay! I think that I'm some rich tai-tai or something for that moment. Spend without any hesitation at all, I must be MAD. Or like some mok mok (choy!) entered me cuz I didn't feel guilty. My new hair cut, my new black top and belt. I LOVE THEM! My new HP coming soon. Hehe!

Maybe we can have some Achernar gathering or even primary school friends gathering. That would be like so complete! I will die without regrets man. But still I do not want to die a virgin! (that's a joke) Haha.

I will be treating my family to a feast tmr! There, I'm MAD again. It's not like I've got extra cash in hand neither am I working anymore. But well, it's great bringing my family tgt and having a meal outside. :) How I wish I can bring my dog there too!



and she say GOODBYE..{/2:21 AM}


Saturday, March 18, 2006
Hey peeps! I'm back, that is if you ever notice that I was away for a few days! I think I gained alot of weight these few days. Time for some exercising!



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:49 AM}


Saturday, March 11, 2006
I forgot to mention that I've got my results! They were not satisfying but I'm improving! :) See, I'm not stupid too! I passed all the subjects even those like MICE and Lodging. Could have done better for lodging if not for that 20 marks gone but well I'm grateful that I passed! And I finally got more A to add on to my list. I miss A!

Just some random thoughts last night. This is just one of them- I had been very materialistic, brand conscious and stubborn once. I'm so glad that I'm not now, not behaving like some *rich people out there. I still do buy some expensive stuff, but I think whether they are worth it before buying them. Some things are *expensive for a reason and some are just because of the BRAND! You know, those alphabets printed on top of your clothings etc. You're just paying for the few letters.

Some recommendations that I have for you!
I used to buy shampoos and conditioners etc from the salons, you know brands like Kerastase or Redken. But honestly, I think they are not that effective. You feel good because of their brandings. They can't promise that their products will suit you or absolute results. I tell you, Dove are better. They are like 70% cheaper and really made your hair soft and silky! :)

Are you an ice cream fan? You buy tubs of ice cream from the supermarkets. Ben & Jerry's cost about $11 and Haagen Daz like $12.50. Ok I admit again that I bought lots of them. NEW discovery: BUD'S are so much cheaper, they cost only $4.95 per tub. They are smooth in texture and not so sweet that you will be guilty of being a diabetic in the future.

Clothes and shoes. I only buy those expensive ones because they are non seasonal, multi-occasion and because of their quality and of course, discounts are attractive! Why spend so much when you can only wear them for like e most 2mths? You could have invest them in something cheaper, unique and never go out of style/season.

I discourage spending a large sum of money on cosmetics. But, buying an expensive foundation is ok with me because it is in direct contact with your precious skin. Things like blushers, eyebrow pencils etc, please buy them from Watsons, Missha, Body Shop or The Face Shop. Spending over 30bucks for those is ridiculous. Expensive eye shadows are acceptable. Haha. (Ps: I do not wear all these make up, not this many.)

You can disagree with me or just ignore this post if you are *rich. Above are just what I think. Haha. Ultimately, it's your money or rather your parents'. Not mine! But I thank you all for contributing to the Singapore's economic.

You can choose to add in fcuking at * if you wish! :)




and she say GOODBYE..{/3:19 PM}


I had been having fun for the past few days. Singing session with friends, gathering and gossiping. How fun was that. Staying out late and catching the last train back home. Ok, that is actually quite early but I haven't been doing that. I've been a very good girl. It's been sucha long time that we did all these. I'm glad that all these meeting up are back! Made me realised how empty my life was without them. But somehow, I felt guilty over something. You-know-what, right? So guilty but yet I don't know what I can do. Oh I don't want history to repeat. Maybe we should all accept that!

I think I too much fun also made me feel so odd now. Is it loneliness now that I'm back home again? I am so not in the mood to do anything, I can't even laugh at any hilarious joke right now. What's wrong?

I'll be away for sometime next week. Catch me the week after next ok?



and she say GOODBYE..{/1:44 AM}


Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Sucha fulfilling yesterday.
Tanning at the Sentosa beach.
Cooking dinner for my family.
Jogging at night!
So not me, right?








If you have anything to say about me, please do so at my face and not behind my back. Think about yourself before you open your mouth and speak ill of me. Be it a joke or anything. I just want rot and die now.



and she say GOODBYE..{/5:57 PM}


Monday, March 06, 2006
BORED AND DEPRESSED. I tell you, I can blog 24/7 even when no one is reading! I deserve a pat on my back now! I don't want to continue to Rot, ROt, ROT at home!! It's so depressing to know that NO ONE is FREE to GO OUT WITH ME! In case you think that I'm complaining, YES I AM. Haha, can you all just let me whine for once? As you all know, I'm so MAN that I hardly whine (publicly).

My boyfriend and lover are going out tmr.
Deni and Rina are working tmr.
Lala, I'm sure she wont go out with me. Not just tmr, but everyday.
Saimin is going out with her mummy tmr.
Yilin is in malaysia right now.
There you go, my list of friends. 10 fingers are too much for me to count.

My schedule for this holiday- Sleep and rot. I don't even need to eat.

Rina, at this rate, let's bring forward our date. We shall go to the you-know-where when I turn 19, not 20!



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:54 AM}


Sunday, March 05, 2006
I'm still as bored as ever. I can't sleep till morning, I don't have anything to do in the day, I'm just rotting away everyday. And so I think, yeah about life just the way I had mentioned. I thought of the past cannn? Haha. I don't think of the future and fantasize cuz they are so unrealistic. I thought of the past as I flipped and looked through the old old photos. Now I understand why people always say that Secondary school days are the best times of your life. You made your lifetime friends, you had lots of fun and equal share of tears as well.

I recalled the 1st day of school, 03/01/00. Sharon with her awful drink, me with my OJ and we approached Anthea with her soursop. That's how we became friends, we were so thickskinned then. We were a crazy bunch of people, we laughed till we teared and even to the extent of squatting down. Our class, the Pegasus- the elites (the way Mdm Ng THOT we were, but of cuz we're not), was seriously condemned by the whole school for acting guai. My greatest regret was to quarrel with my dear friend, Stephanie. I'm sorry. We were so naive and childish, and I can't even tell you the reason behind the quarrel. Haha.

Not forgetting our teachers & principal. They played a major role in making our school life whole. Ng, Rudolph the red nose reindeer who allowed our cls to skip SSP because we dont feel like turning up. The VP, I cant recall her name, and her donkey story. Julia G, her huge watermelon earrings and her REAL loud voice. Fong, always counting flies in the morning, crying and making the whole cls cried along with him. Yeo WJ, her yellow van, her mispronounciation of "simprefy" & "calcurator". Irene Y, her senseless chemistry analogies of "matchmakers and catalyst", "murder" and "the sociable student"? And her threat that anyone who fail the next test would have tuition at her house for 3days which made the whole cls passed the test. Albert T, his "T.A= think again" and "Use your brain" comments on our Amaths assignment. John L, the Mr Nice guy who bought us stationeries and TYS- for afew cls mind you.

The endless Chinese Orchestra practices, camps and performances. Our semi-annual holidays were ALL ABOUT CO! Our Perth trip, stayed in the kuku budget hotel, which was so scary I tell you, 6 of us squeezed into a room all bcuz we are timid. Our prank calls to scare the others. The farmstay, we wore layers of clothes, brought the blankets out just to watch the shooting stars! Freezing on the hilltop. That 4years was 70% CO and 20% playing and fooling around, 10% studies.

That one guy who really made me felt in love, the one who is probably botak and serving the nation now. Though I never mentioned before and he'll never get to see this. You were too good to be true then. Watching every basketball matches just to support you secretly. The time when you trusted me when the whole world was against me, when you didn't even know what happened, I'll never forget. But I think you suck alil now. You're great at pian-ing xiao mei mei. Haha.

Lala, my buddy. I'm glad we made up after that fight. Actually I recalled that there's a 2nd one. You twisted my left wrist which I'll always rmb. Picking up my calls late at night and hear me cry. Like I said, you were always there spiritually and not physically. I got used to that, we got used to each other. We always AP to each other and we never mind. Yeah, I didn't mean to AP you last night lah! Dont angry k?

Saimin! So many internal conflicts then, so much pang seh-ing. Im sorry. But you never failed to be there for me. Lending me your shoulders whenever I cry, even the time when I got my Olevel results, tears of joy I suppose. Aint I lucky to have you as my friend even till now!

Alot more of you not mentioned above. You see, this entry is so long. I know it's so pekchek to read till here, a pat on your back if you survived till here. Larrina, Denise, Dilys, Carol, Kah wei, Amy, Siew, Eunice, All Pegasus and Achernars for making my life so fun-filled then.

Yilin and Dorothy. I still rmb we became friends only after graduation. How amazing! After all the staring incidents in school! I'm thankful that I never got bashed up! And I repeat, I'm not ah lian k?

We used to have so much gatherings and that one festival we never failed to celebrate- the Mid Autumn Festival. WHY? And our jing dian, for always wanting to perform for the whole school no matter what, the Valentine rose selling with profit of over a thousand bucks- for charity of course!

I miss the good old times. Always.





and she say GOODBYE..{/5:48 PM}


Friday, March 03, 2006
I'm so guilty. I bought another pair of shoes. That's like the 4th item I bought within a week. I need more money but I really don't feel like working this holiday. The last holiday was a nightmare. It was all about working, but the funny thing was I don't see a rise in my bank account. Haha. Where had all my pay gone?

Since I don't want to work, I reckoned I should do some self-improvement and spend more time with myself. Rest well and think about... erm... life. But that's bad, the more I think, the more depressed I get. I should turn myself to the sleep mode throughout the hols. Maybe I can grow a few cm taller, you know like they say, you tend to grow faster when you sleep?

And I won't blog much about the clubbing experience. I'm so sorry to disappoint you, rina. The fun part wasn't all the drinking and dancing. It was the pre-clubbing "to-do" that was fun. Fancy behaving like "The Plastics" for a day, Rina refused to be "The Plastics" and so I crowned her "The Spastic". Ok, I'm being mean here. BUT that was funny right? And we got mad kissing and molesting each other. That was hilarious, we wasn't high on the alcohol, we were just... crazy.

Angel, you're the Ah beng magnet k? I gave my crown to you! *smile!



and she say GOODBYE..{/2:39 AM}