crowned
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
I'm down with flu and sore throat. What's worse? My face is infested by pimples. My heart is sinking, on its way to my toes.

I hate this.



and she say GOODBYE..{/11:57 AM}


Sunday, May 28, 2006
I've come to realise that the creepiest and scariest thing that I fear or we should fear, is human beings.

You can hide/runaway from insects but you can't hide from human.
You can stay away from darkness but can't stay away from human.
You can run at the sight of an animal, say cats, but you can't run away from human.
You can cry when you hear thunder or see lightning but you can't cry at the sight of every human.

It's creepy when someone stalks you on your way home. It's not when it's a cat.
It's scary when someone keeps digging information about you. Animals and insects can't do that.
It's disgusting when someone touches you but perhaps the animal is disgusted when you touch it.

When an insect or animal hurts you, in most situations, you apply medication and it will heal.
When a human hurts you, in most situations, your heart hardly heals. There's no medication for that.

We betray love.
We betray trust.
We break promises.
We make empty promises.
We tell lies.

Only human are capable of doing such things.
How great would it be, if I'm not a human.

I just want to stop weeping over creepy stuffs. Stop scaring me.



and she say GOODBYE..{/10:37 PM}


Maybe good stuff are worth waiting for. I rejected OHotel and guess what? I've got an interview with Cathay Pacific! Though it's just an interview but I'm glad that I was shortlisted, at least.











I found myself smiling at this photo but the next moment tearing. I really really love them. Not forgetting deni who was represented by the bag.













Poor siew working!










And they still force her to take pics.













I'm so prettay right?



and she say GOODBYE..{/2:51 AM}


Friday, May 26, 2006
PEOPLE! My dear tagboard was gone for a month and now it's back! I threw it out of home and it came running back. As a kind soul, I had to let it in. Haha. Thank you deni!

I'm so dreading tmr though it's the friday we are all waiting for! But it's the bloody 9am class again! It's 9am everyday this week and it's killing me. Testing, training and cultivating my dam patience. I can't skip the class tmr cause I've been committing sins of skipping classes this week. My cds tut today. My tkging lab last week. It's the 5th week and I've skipped 2 tutorials. What a great start!

Sometimes I'm just dreaming. Hoping that my sweet lil dream will come true. Hoping that everything now is a nightmare. Hoping that I'll wake up soon.

Drifting away...

Sometime later, maybe you will find me in the hospital for I think I'm falling ill. Sometime later, maybe you will find me in the hospital- Institute for Mental health.

I'm really scared. I seriously think that there is something wrong with me. My mind, my body, my heart. I never know when is my last goodbye to everyone of u. I don't know how long I can continue to act okay and laugh when I see you guys. I don't how long I will take to become fine. I don't know what's wrong with me.

When I become a nutcase, when I become really depressed, when I cry and weep everyday, will anyone still be here for me? Or will you all just run away just like someone..



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:28 AM}


Thursday, May 25, 2006
Just how long can a secret be kept?
Maybe I'll just bring it to my grave.



and she say GOODBYE..{/11:35 PM}











My lunch of the day! The honey drink suzhen made for me, ice peach tea Hong bought for me and the mushroom soup I bought for myself! I'm so bloated cannn? Liquified.










We love to make a fool of ourselves.













My lovely nephew!

Thank you guys for making my life better.



and she say GOODBYE..{/6:33 PM}


Wednesday, May 24, 2006
STOP ASSUMING AND LEAVE ME ALONE! IF YOU ARE MY PARENTS THEN STOP SCREWING MY LIFE UP! DON'T MAKE MY LIFE ANY WORSER CUZ IT'S THE END. MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:07 AM}


Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I'm in a really foul mood. Tuesday blues. I really hate tuesday! I'm like cursed on every Tuesday. You know the 9am class which I always feel like skipping all because of the FREAKING PACKED BUS 27! I was so desperate that I called my dad for help as I missed numerous bus (I'm sure you seen buses not stopping as they are too packed) and all he do is to INSIST that I overslept, and so it's my own business. Why can't he just trust me for that? I woke up so exceptionally early but he said I lied. Yah, what a lie! What's the point of lying anything about that? And I'm someone who hardly tell a lie for goodness sake! I know you all must be thinking that I'm kicking a big fuss over nothing but the point is, if he don't want to fetch me just say so. Don't insist that I lied just because he don't want to help. I know I could have took a cab to school, but how am I suppose to do that with only 45cents left in my purse. Yes, I'm that poor, that pathetic. Please weep for me.

Anyway, I think I'm condemned by my tutor. I skipped her class without any valid reason. Look at her attitude towards me. But well, it's my fault as usual.

You just imagine, when my mum and dad combine their forces to attack me. They so wanted me to accept OHotel's offer for internship despite me telling them that I don't like it there and I don't wish to see myself suffer there for 5 months! It's 5 months, excuse me? Who was the one who wanted me to be in the airline industry, now, look who's telling me to accept the offer. Why? Because, again, they insisted that I don't want to go there as there isnt any friends with me. If that's the case, I would have gladly accepted the offer cuz Rina is there. Fancy preaching me that I don't always need my friends, in the future I still have to be independent in the working society. What's important is to do something that interests me. ISN'T THAT WHAT I'M DOING? They always think that they know everything but obviously not. Just stop acting like you know me. Just stop insisting anything and putting words into my mouth.

And moments ago when I was having my dinner. Dear mum scolded me for not eating her curry. Like you have a spoonful of rice first, she'll go, "Why are you so wasteful? Why are you not eating the curry?" So, I had a spoonful of curry and she said, "Why are you not eating the rice?" ARGH JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME EAT! LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? TO HAVE 2 SPOONS, ONE IN EACH HAND AND PUT THEM INTO MY MOUTH ALLL AT THE SAME TIME?

I so feel like crying the whole day and so I slept my whole afternoon away. I don't want to face them, I don't want to hear them.

But I would still like to thank hong and suzhen! Thanks for being so caring towards me. Hong bought me mixed fruit juice from this japanese vending machine in school just to cheer me up! I know it's not because that I helped you with the books! I think zhen is GOD! I was only talking to her and she knew I was having sore throat and she knew very well that I won't bother to do anything about it. It's not that I was croaking or anything, in fact I think I sound perfectly fine. She popped by and surprised me with a pack of strepsils! How lovely! I'm so full of vitamin C now. Haha.



and she say GOODBYE..{/11:21 PM}


Monday, May 22, 2006
Oh no! So I really do have spilt personality! Haha. Okay, see! I'm so unique!

I have so much stuff on hands to do!
3 Bus Ent reflection not done.
FHy research not done.
OB not revised, test in less than 12 hours.
Okay, I'm sure there's more but I too lazy to think.
Hong! Pls remind me!
Haha.

And I so hate to hope. Pls do not give me slightest hope on anything!

I'm really really broke! How can I ever survive with 2 bucks?



and she say GOODBYE..{/1:21 AM}


Sunday, May 21, 2006
Dear reader (notice, not readers), you should have notice that the high frequency of me blogging equates to my bad mood. Haha.

You-know-who-you-are. Thank you very much for listening to me and telling me I'm not wrong. I'm just maybe, dumb. I feel so much better now. But I'm still stucked. We're still stucked. We'll find our way out real soon right? :)



and she say GOODBYE..{/2:38 AM}


Saturday, May 20, 2006
ARGH!
OHotel called me and want me to confirm by Tuesday evening.
When is airport going to call me??!!



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:58 PM}


I forgot to mention,
I miss zai na li.
Thanks hong for reminding me about them.
Haha.



and she say GOODBYE..{/2:43 AM}


I'm not stereotyping. I just go, ewe guys. Stay away! Okay, that was stereotyping for whatever reasons- I don't want to say. But yah, stay away, from me.

We managed to get tickets for The Da Vinci Code. Wow! How cool is that? You know, typical sporean fancy booking tixs like way before time. It was like all full hse when I checked last night, unless you want to catch an ultra-midnight show. But well, WE GOT THE TIXS! 9 tixs for The Da Vinci Code at TM. Thanks amy, though it was row C. Alil giddy but better than nothing. Haha. It was a freaking long 150mins show but I didn't feel I sat that long. But I was like could you pls end soon cuz I so want to visit the lavatory. Very very nice show if you have not read the book. It was erm, yah nice to see the moving pictures if you had read the book.

I still think poseidon is better. Cuz I've read the book.

Anyway, we finally had a budget gathering. We had dinner at Foodcourt. How rare is that? AND WE FORGOT TO PLAN OUR NEXT GATHERING! Talking about food, I'm so famished now. Can't wait for my sis to bring back some food at this wee hour.

I hope you guys forget what I said about eating alil lesser. For the moment. Haha. Will keep to that after, The Last Supper by Leonardo Da Vinci. HAHA. Pls laugh!

Have a wonderful weekend and study for your test peeps!



and she say GOODBYE..{/2:13 AM}


Friday, May 19, 2006
This week is a breeze (so far)! Why? Basically because I've committed sins like skipping lessons. FYI: I haven been in school for 2 days this week. Oh wells, it's nothing compared to lala. I'm just lazy and not feeling well. Oh I'm so sinful. Maybe I should spend time chanting before my altar, visit the temple. Hahs. If not I'll prolly will be in hell again when I die. So tell me the difference btwn the hell now and the hell I will go to when I die.

And so, I went to the interview at OHotel today. Quite easy, nice people. The HR assistant, F&B manager and FrontOffice Manager. Spend like 1 whole hour there. Thanks to deni, rina and ting for waiting for me and kana disturbed by an uncle. Wahahahaha. The NYDC dinner too. I'm feeling FAT. I'm still waiting for more interviews.

Yes friends, especially Aug! I think I'm not that pale-looking already. I actually din notice I was pale till I looked at the mirror like minutes ago. What's wrong with me? Maybe I'm down with some terminal illness or whatever. I can't be bothered.

Saimin! You better check out on my you-know-what symptom. Help me before it's too late. Haha.

I can't wait for Friday to come. I hope there are still seats available for The Da Vinci Code. Happy weekly gathering tmr!

Time to faint. Ciao.



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:37 AM}


Thursday, May 18, 2006
Thanks for your concerns my friends! But sadly, I'm still not ok.
Don't ask me why. There are certain things that I can't say. It'll be wrongful to speak my mind on that issue.

Anyway, I'm not fishing. Sometimes I just can't help it. There are things I wish that I could control but obviously I can't.

I'm trying very hard to appear okay. So don't ask me anything when you see me. Maybe I will find a time to talk about it. Which I doubt so. I'm afraid if I ever say such things, you all will see me differently. Maybe you all are already doing that.

I don't know what I'm blabbering about.
My nails are in bad shape. I need a manicure.


Happy birthday hong!



and she say GOODBYE..{/1:33 AM}


Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Why do my tears flow so easily nowadays? Even on the slightest matter. How useless I am now.
Why the hell do I always get blamed for everything?
Why do I always not get anything that I want? From now on, I will not ask for anything cuz they will not be mine anyway.

I must be born on an inauspicious date. I'm a cursed kid with a cursed life.



and she say GOODBYE..{/10:14 PM}


Where the hell is the whole world of people



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:37 AM}


Why can't anyone understand my fear?



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:18 AM}


Monday, May 15, 2006
I'm just so stucked in the show "Devil beside you".
Am I watching it the 3rd or 4th time?



and she say GOODBYE..{/1:48 AM}


It's been so long since the last time I got depressed. Many thoughts have been going on my mind recently. I'm back to my depression mode. They miss me so much you see.

Maybe it's all the schoolwork that I just can't wait to shake them off but yet I'm not doing anything about them.
Maybe it's the new class that I still can't adapt to. Everyone seemed like an individualist. Perhaps I should learn to be one too.
Maybe it's about waking up at 7am almost every morning but sleeping at 4am that got me in sucha a bad mood.
Maybe it's all the pre-SIP stuffs that got me so stressed and fed up. Cant the school just dump me anywhere? I seriously wun care.

I feel so out of place in this world, this society. Everyone seem so blissful, so loved. Leading a good life, rich and getting everything they want. For me, it's just all the opposite. Everyone seemed so vulnerable but yet they always have someone to rely on. I'd rather be the weak and vulnerable one.

It's not that I need someone to rely on but I'm just tired of being the wall. I need a break at times. I need to rest, to put down my armour and shield.

Anyway, I have a newly discovered phobia growing. Phobia of the males. I don't know why. I guess it's all the past experiences that I had accumulated, the stories I've heard.

Poseidon is nice.



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:31 AM}


Sunday, May 14, 2006
Our Supper.
That's what makes us fat together.





































Deni's








Mine








Dor and Lin's








Amy's



and she say GOODBYE..{/3:27 AM}


Saturday, May 13, 2006
It's amazing how I actually survive that long. Really.
And the pre-SIP procedures really stinks.

But still, a few lil things that keeps me happy for the week.






























































These big 'things' that made my week happier.
And the rest of my life.
Rina, wei, lala and siew too.
I hope I din miss anyone out.

You girls are the strength to drive me.
For me to move on, to overcome any obstacles of my life.
:)



and she say GOODBYE..{/2:58 AM}


Saturday, May 06, 2006
kinda late but yeah, Happy 19th birthday to Kah wei and Zhixin!!
Becuz of that 2 birthday celebrations, I am here to declare bankruptcy again! Haha.. So finally that I saved alil to do some shopping and now they are gone again! Haha. Yeah, but I got lotsa fun in return. So it was all worthwhile, but maybe I should really start eating lesser.

Thursday
Zhixin's birthday celebration at Marina bay. Steam boat session. The number of guests present was enough for a wedding dinner. Haha. Din ate much actually though there were so much food on our table. I proclaimed to be listed in the Guinness World Records for peeling the prawns.

Friday
Dearest Ms Kah belated birthday celebration at the settler cafe. Interesting place where we played, screamed and laughed together. Afterwhich we caught a midnight show at PS. When a stranger calls. Haha, I guess I was too cold and tired to enjoy the show. And I so hate the person sitting behind me again. Why do they always have to place their feet on our arm rest?! I did the same thing to raise the arm rest as from my previous experience. And Lin was the Retro Queen of the day again! Only dor and lin dressed according to the Retro theme and the rest of us was in stripes instead.

I was so unlucky can? I came home at like 4am and all the rooms door were locked! Meaning that I can't take my shower nor wash my face but only to sleep in the living room! Fortunately or unfortunately, my parents woke up and I got reprimanded for coming home so late.

Today
I guess I woke up quite early as compared to my friends like Amy and siew! Sorry dor that I ps you guys. Alil too lazy to step outta my house though I so wanted to meet you guys. Shall we shop tmr? I nearly fell to my death at home!

P/s: Pls call me in order to reach me! I'm trying my best to cut down on my hp bills, cuz I switched on my GPRS unknowingly for like 20 hours. ARGH!



and she say GOODBYE..{/7:07 PM}


Thursday, May 04, 2006
my conversation with rina goes like this,

jing- says:
i wana focus on reflection 1st
jing- says:
i love bus ent
This is something that you can't grab hold of. says:
me too..!
This is something that you can't grab hold of. says:
hahahaha..
jing- says:
hahaha
jing- says:
awww
jing- says:
dun we jus love school so much
jing- says:
i mean presentations, researchs, report
jing- says:
they are my fave hobbies!
This is something that you can't grab hold of. says:
me too..
This is something that you can't grab hold of. says:
aww. we share the same interests..
jing- says:
can u more original?
jing- says:
hahahaha
This is something that you can't grab hold of. says:
maybe we can go library together n research more abt all these!
This is something that you can't grab hold of. says:
hahahhaa.
jing- says:
tt wud be so great!
This is something that you can't grab hold of. says:
i think so too..


Haha. Okay, so let's hope that all these will come true.



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:50 AM}


Tuesday, May 02, 2006
My friends are so addictive and I just can't get enough of them. People like amy, dor, lin, wei, rina, aug, deni etc.. you know who you are! I'm not in the right state of mind currently to list down the names. I'm still in the holiday mood. Yday and today was like so much fun!

We went to The Balcony last night. There were deni, dor, alan, nate, clif and I. We ordered like 5 jugs of alcoholic drinks and played stupid, crazy games. It was the first time I actually saw someone drunk. Yes, you girls! You all were so hilarious can?

Shopping with the girls today! Din actually buy anything though kinda have the money. We waited for lin to knock off but I'm so sorry that I can't acc you for late dinner! Please forgive me! We'll have much more fun on Friday! Our 3rd theme party. You're not gonna be the queen ever again!

I'm so dreading school tmr! I kept thinking it's still hols now.



and she say GOODBYE..{/12:04 AM}